Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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