Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
