:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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