Me too!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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