What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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