So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We got so high we made milksteak
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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