I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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