He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
