I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
