yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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