You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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