Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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