Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
