that's an acceptable place to lick
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
