Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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