eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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