Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
