I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
