she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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