It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
