I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
