Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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