it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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