My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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