You smell like stripper and shame
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
