grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
