google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
