So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
