Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
