Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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