I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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