so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Are my feet made of real feet?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
