Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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