addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Randomize