Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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