I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize