A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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