Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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