i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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