Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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