i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
