this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
