Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
