just come out here and I will go home with you...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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