So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
