so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
