Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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