i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
false alarm, still single
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
