She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She made me pour olive oil on her.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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