How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
