I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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