Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
