he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
