you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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