I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
