bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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