She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
