You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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