We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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