I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
