Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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