we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My life is pants optional.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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