soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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