This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
