how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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