We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
