The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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