I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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