Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
