I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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