is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize