Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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