My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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