you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
