no. you can't hotbox the world.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
